Posted By : Margaret Garland
Category : self-help
Are you lost in a sea of information, grasping to find the real deal on how to attract a woman FOR KEEPS? Does it seem like there's a new book coming out every week, leaving you deeper in confusion about which advice to take??
Worse, you have friends and colleagues giving you their own unique take on what works and what doesn't work in a relationship. The World Wide Web is filled to the brim with all sorts of conflicting information, and it's hard to make sense of it all.
If all of the things those authors have tried in their own lives have worked for each and every one of them, why do their books cancel each other out??
There can be only so many versions of the truth out there; it can drive an average guy NUTS.
Well, this is where your INNER VOICE comes into play. It's really up to you to decide which piece of advice would work BEST with your unique circumstances.
And there are a lot of useful books out there that offer SENSIBLE, REAL-LIFE guidance on not only having an awesome love life, but a great lifestyle in general.
If you want such a guide to help you make sense of things, you should check out the definitive guide for guys: Click Here Detail
You need to pick this up if you want to be at your best, most authentic self that the ladies will fall for.
Yet, there are a lot of so-called dating experts who are - honestly speaking, pouring POISON into the collective ear of the male population. I mean, there's just a TON of B.S. floating around on the web as well as in print media.
The stuff I'm talking about here is RULES. Strict, rigid rules that will only curse you to singlehood 'til kingdom come.
I have to tell ya, a lot of my own friends have been badly burned from following a bunch of arbitrary 'dating laws'.
What you might not know is that these rules only serve to make clueless guys even MORE narrow-minded than they were before.
I get where these rules are coming from though. With dating, so much can go wrong; believing that certain regulations within a clearly-defined system could somehow bring order to a chaotic environment.
And from a theoretical standpoint, following rules will safely keep you out of harms way (such as being rejected, getting dumped, etc.).
However, real life doesn't work like that.
Personally, I'm more of a 'go with the flow' kinda guy. I like to size up a situation and respond to it accordingly without a bunch of rules dictating my every move like I was some machine.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but you can't put the world of relationships into neat little compartments as if it was a science experiment. Some people look at social dynamics in the same way as a computer program driven by inflexible rules (read: NOT true), and so they repeatedly run into DISASTER.
The thing is, a healthy, stable relationship (long-term or otherwise) isn't brought about by religiously adhering to these 'laws' like your life depended on it.
Adaptability, creativity and RESPECT towards women will give a set of dumb rules an ass-whooping any day.
Most of these 'unbreakable' rules revolve around game-playing, manipulation and utter disregard for a woman's sensibilities. Let's take a look:
- The best way to bring a woman down a couple of notches is to take a few pot shots at her ego. The more beautiful she is, the more aggressive your disguised insults need to be.
- Before you get involved with someone new, you first need to give yourself an allowance of X number of years or months after breaking up with your previous girlfriend.
- After a date, wait X number of days before calling her back.
- You'll need to approach a woman within X number of seconds of spotting her.
What a doozy huh? If I didn't know better, I'd be following these rules like crazy before I ultimately run my love life to the ground.
The people who came up with these rules are probably projecting their own experiences. Therefore, its basically made to serve their OWN needs rather than every guy out there.
Everybody's situation is different, so you can't expect to use these rules as a one-size-fits-all kind of glove for the ENTIRE dating scene. These laws won't work for every single guy in the known universe, so it's really pointless to follow them to the letter.
It's more important to have a PERSONALITY that's suited to the dating world. The truth is that you can't substitute your real self with these rules.
A personality defined by self-confidence and non-neediness will be your best guide to making the RIGHT DECISION.
Rules don't really capture the spirit of healthy dating. They MIGHT work for you this one time, but it doesn't follow that your precious rules will get you consistent results!
On the flip side, I can honestly appreciate the IDEA behind these rules, which is to prevent you from getting burned. Yet, narrowing general guidelines down to extremely specific tenets simply won't work for all situations.
For instance, pinning down the exact number of days before calling ANY woman you date is just plain silly. I mean yeah, you don't want to look super EAGER or NEEDY, but don't you think the level of attraction will VARY from girl to girl?
Maybe a certain date of yours seemed really interested to see you again, while another woman wasn't all that receptive to your advances. That simply means you can't expect to apply one rule to two different people.
Since I'm feeling like a nice guy today, I'll give you some quick pointers on the ideas BASED on the rules we talked about:
- Don't act like a woman's approval is your sole reason for living. Seeking validation from someone other than yourself is NOT attractive.
- If she catches on that you're so DESPERATE to be in a relationship, you might end up driving her away.
- Don't make a big deal out of approaching a woman. You'll be severely wrecking your chances if you hover around her, acting all jumpy and jittery.
Nonetheless, save the algorithms for other things, like rocket science. You can't possibly reduce social dynamics down to a mathematical equation.
No computer can intelligently decipher the complex patterns of human behavior ' your BRAIN is the only tool that can do that.
Sure, rules may help you out when you're new to the dating scene, but in the long run you'll need to cut the umbilical cord and come into your own. Eventually, you'll have to be someone that has a good amount of common sense and good judgment and won't need a bunch of rules to tell him what to do.
Furthermore, these rules pale in comparison to simply being a man who oozes with HIGH VALUE'instead of pretending to be one.
You can only get so far with pre-packaged templates for how to act around women. In fact, putting up an act will put you at risk of women seeing right through the smoke and mirrors (which is what the rules are all about).
Instead, you're better off cultivating a genuine personality that's consistent in word and deed. Saying one thing and doing another is NOT the way to relationship bliss.