Label Madness Monday

Today’s game of label hide-and-seek involves i of the paragons of so-called “healthy diets.” It’s “the staff of life,” the base of operations of the at i time defunct nutrient pyramid, as well as the go-to breakfast detail for anyone who thinks they’re “eating healthy.” Whole wheat bread! Have you lot seen these things at the store? Perusing the shelves, you’d think you lot couldn’t peradventure ever acquire plenty grain. Whole grain, multi-grain, 7-grain, 9-grain, 12-grain. The to a greater extent than grain, the better! (This mightiness endure truthful if you’re a beef feedlot possessor as well as require to acquire your cattle to marketplace weight every bit apace every bit possible. How do you lot fatten upward a cow? Lots as well as lots of grain. Hey, whaddya know? It’s kinda the same amongst humans! But I digress. And we’re withal inwards the showtime paragraph. This does non bode good for the residual of this post, hehheh.)  

I stumbled across this jewel the other 24-hour interval as well as couldn’t resist taking a look. I mean, xv grains? That’s a lotta grain! I wanted to read the ingredients simply to run into if in that location were really xv unlike grains inwards this bread. The showtime bad intelligence most this production is that it’s imitation advertising.

At my count, in that location are exclusively xiii unlike types of grain, as well as that’s if you lot count buckwheat as well as quinoa every bit grains. (They’re not. Botanically speaking, they’re seeds. But I’ll give Pepperidge Farm a operate past times on this, because it’s simply non that big a deal.) Maybe they’re also counting the flax seeds as well as sunflower seeds every bit grains, which they’re also not. (No gratis operate past times here. These fifty-fifty receive got the give-and-take seed inwards them!) Wheat, oats, barley, rye, triticale, millet, corn, dark-brown rice, buckwheat, amaranth, quinoa, sorghum, as well as spelt. YOWZA! That, my friends, is an astounding diversity of grains to shove into i piddling loaf of bread. Kudos, Pepperidge Farm, kudos. (As to where their count of xv comes from, I tin exclusively jurist they are counting the flax as well as sunflower seeds, or maybe the double-mentioning of wheat as well as millet. I wouldn’t count wheat berries every bit a split grain from wheat flour, or millet flour every bit split from whole-grain millet, but that’s in all likelihood why I’m non the caput of this brand’s marketing department.)

Let’s run into what else is inwards here. Sugar. No big deal. I’ll genuinely allow that i become this time, since most breadstuff recipes incorporate at to the lowest degree a little sugar to feed the yeast. Moving on: Soybean oil. (Of course. Can’t receive got anything inwards a box or pocketbook these days that doesn’t have some cast of soy inwards it. *Sigh.*) Extra wheat gluten. Calcium propionate as well as sorbic acid, “to retard spoilage.” And DATEM, a dough conditioner. [Insert wistful smile.] I retrieve dorsum when my grandma used to bake bread. She ever had that big jounce of DATEM inwards the closet as well as the calcium propionate on the shelf, simply waiting to endure added to her dough hence it could sit down to a greater extent than or less for weeks without spoiling. Aaaah, yes, the skilful quondam days.

Most of you lot reading my weblog (all 3 of you) probable flora me from a link on a low-carb or Paleo site. So you lot in all likelihood don’t eat breadstuff at all, or if you lot do, you’re for certain non eating this stuff. (Maybe a nice, fresh, real sourdough from a bakery you trust non to pose anything wacky inwards it. Or a dark, dense, nutty, “peasant”-type loaf from the dude at the farmer’s marketplace because it looks amazing, as well as dammit, you lot don’t receive got whatever gluten sensitivity that you’re aware of as well as you lot simply desire a piece of bread! So sue me! Um…I mean, non me. Okay, fine. It was me. There. I said it. I eat breadstuff sometimes. It doesn’t tear upward my insides or displace whatever allergic/skin/mood issues I tin identify, hence I do a piddling breadstuff bender every five months or so, buying a fresh baguette or olive focaccia as well as proceeding to swallow the entire matter past times myself inwards 2-3 days, as well as and then non buying breadstuff i time to a greater extent than for some other few months. Go ahead, kicking me out of the club. ;-)

As long every bit we’re on the subject, what’s upward amongst charging $6 for a loaf of “peasant” bread, anyway? I jurist it’s the same logic that inspires fashion designers to accuse upwards of $300 for “hobo” bags. Um, if I retrieve history aeroplane correctly, hobos were poor. They were happy if they could afford a mouthful of chew as well as a bowl of soup at i time as well as then. They most definitely weren’t walking to a greater extent than or less prepare yards amongst $300 handbags. But I digress…again.)

Let’s acquire dorsum to the label. Now that we’ve gone over the ingredients, let’s expect at the macronutrient breakdown on this bad boy. (Macronutrient is the fancy term for the big nutrients nosotros eat: fat, protein, as well as carbohydrate.) So how does this stack up? Let’s see.

Per slice, we’re looking at: 100 calories, fourscore of which come upward from carbohydrate. (20 grams of carbs times 4 calories per gram.) We tin subtract 4 grams (and xvi calories) because of the fiber. (This is called “net carbs” – the refined saccharify count of a nutrient minus the fiber, as well as sometimes the refined saccharify alcohols, depending on your philosophy.) So let’s telephone telephone it 64 calories, of which come upward from refined carbohydrate. (I don’t tending how “whole” the grain is. If it’s been milled into flour, it’s refined. Compare a piece of whole grain breadstuff to a handful of wheat berries—the materials you lot discovery inwards the mass bins at hippie-type co-ops (and Whole Foods). Now tell me the breadstuff ain’t refined.

So over one-half the calories are from carbohydrate, as well as in that location are exclusively 2 grams of obese per slice. Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 mere eighteen calories from obese (2 grams x nine calories per gram for fat) to buffer 64 from carbohydrate. And I would imagine few people bother amongst simply i piece of bread. Whether it’s a sandwich or toast inwards the morning, it’s unremarkably two slices, right? So we’re talking 128 calories of refined saccharify as well as simply 36 from fat. And if you’re “eating healthy,” maybe you lot spread a piddling jam or preserves on the bread, ‘cuz hey, they’re made amongst fruit as well as they’re totally obese free! And let’s country it’s breakfast, hence you lot add together inwards a drinking glass of orangish juice as well as maybe a little bowl of cereal. What a cracking way to start the day, huh? Lots of low-fat as well as fat-free foods, “healthy whole grains,” a teeny, tiny chip of poly peptide inwards the breadstuff (all coming from gluten, which offers its ain consummate laid upward of issues that nosotros won’t delve into today), as well as almost no lick of fat. That is a fantastic way to start the day! Who wouldn’t desire to become careening on the blood refined saccharify rollercoaster showtime matter inwards the morning? Wheee! Like my disclaimer says, I’m non a doctor, but I sure promise you’ve got skilful medical insurance, because you’ll require it when your pancreas calls it quits subsequently xxx years of this form of abuse. (Insider trading tip: purchase stock inwards Metformin. Now.)

What else do nosotros run into on this package? 

Ah, yes, the American Heart Association’s seal of approval. Sweet! I jurist that agency this is a “heart healthy” food! I wonder which purpose of it, exactly, they consider healthy. Is it the soy oil? The extra added gluten? The calcium propionate or DATEM? Eek! Thank goodness this breadstuff doesn’t incorporate anything crazy that healthy, robust humans receive got been consuming safely for thousands of years, similar eggs or butter, ‘cuz the soybean crude as well as wacky preservatives are totally fine, but cholesterol’ll kill ya! (No, it won't.)

Maybe the AHA gave its seal of approving because Pepperidge Farm paid it an enormous amount of money of some other reason. Maybe it’s because this breadstuff is loaded amongst nutrients. I’ve seen foods more devoid of vitamins as well as minerals, but that doesn’t construct this i a nutritional abode run. One piece has 6% of the daily value for thiamin, 8% niacin, 6% iron, 2% folate. Not besides shabby.


Let’s country a typical serving is 2 slices of this bread. That would endure 200 calories. Let’s run into how it stacks upward against a calorically equivalent amount of something the AHA would never, ever pose its seal of approving on because of all the … *gasp!* … saturated fat, as well as … *gasp!* …  cholesterol inwards it: beef liver. The treasured organ meat of yesteryear. For simply 191 calories (giving the breadstuff a total 9-calorie advantage!), the liver provides:  634% of our vitamin A, 201% of the riboflavin (vitamin B2), 1176% of the B12, 71% of the pantothenic acid (B5), 63% of the folate, 51% of the B6, 88% of the niacin (B3), 36% of the iron, 50% of the phosphorus, 35% of the zinc, 714% of the copper, as well as 52% of the selenium (daily values based on a 2000 calorie diet). HOLY MOLY! The beef liver leaves the breadstuff inwards the dust. Actually, first, it beats the snot out of it, as well as then it steals its tiffin money, as well as then it leaves it inwards the dust. And I jurist the AHA is ignoring the fact that a 3oz serving of liver delivers that wham-bam nutritional knockout amongst a glycemic charge of simply 4—meaning it has almost no number on blood sugar, land the zillion-grain breadstuff is sure to spike the ol’ blood glucose a chip amongst all that refined saccharify as well as hence piddling obese to buffer it. (Note: if you lot click on the link to run into the liver nutritional info, you’ll receive got to toggle the “serving size” card to 100g inwards monastic tell to check upward the calories.)

Well played, American Heart Association, good played.  <3

One to a greater extent than matter earlier aeroplane ends for the day. Let’s expect at the claim on the forepart of the package: “Diets rich inwards whole grain foods as well as other flora foods as well as depression inwards total fat, saturated fat, as well as cholesterol, may assist cut back the adventure of pump illness as well as sure cancers.” MAY. MAY cut back the risk. So you lot know what that means, right? It agency they mightiness NOT. They MAY cut back your risk, but they mightiness also do DIDDLY SQUAT.

And now, simply to spite the AHA, I’m most to become taste a piece of the crustless quiche I made this morning, amongst lots of eggs, cheese, heavy cream, as well as NO WHOLE GRAINS. (No grains of any kind, inwards fact.) YUM.

P.S. I lied. One to a greater extent than matter earlier nosotros adjourn. Go dorsum to the movie amongst the AHA seal on it. What else is this packet telling us? 2 slices of this breadstuff furnish “100% of your day’s worth of whole grain.” Hm. That’s funny, because inwards all the anatomy as well as physiology textbooks I’ve read, as well as all the biochemistry classes I’ve taken, I don’t retrieve ever learning most human beings requiring whole grains. In fact, I’m pretty sure I learned simply the opposite. There are essential amino acids, as well as essential fatty acids, but THERE ARE NO ESSENTIAL CARBOHYDRATES. Did I country that loud enough? Let me repeat it, simply inwards case: There are no essential carbohydrates. That’s non to country that the human trunk doesn’t require glucose to run some of its operations, or that everyone across the board should adopt a low-carbohydrate diet. All I’m maxim is, it’s difficult to believe the U.S. authorities is telling us nosotros receive got some form of daily requirement for the i macronutrient the human trunk doesn’t require to ingest at all. (We tin make glucose from lots of other things, form of a biochemical Jenga or Rubik’s Cube, if you lot will, moving as well as shifting things hither as well as in that location until nosotros acquire what nosotros need.) Then again, it’s not that big a mystery. If the USDA tells us of a precipitous that nosotros don’t require all those whole grains, what on populace volition nosotros do amongst the massive, massive glut of wheat as well as corn (plus soy, but that’s non a grain) nosotros arrive at cheers to our really ain revenue enhancement dollars (via big fourth dimension subsidies)? They tell us nosotros require it simply hence they tin get rid of all of it! [/rantover]

Remember: Amy Berger, M.S., NTP, is non a physician as well as , LLC, is non a medical practice. The information contained on this site is non intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or foreclose whatever medical condition.

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Label Madness Monday
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